Have You Choked the Chicken Lately?

Get a grip and Celebrate Loving Yourself – MAY is Masturbation Month!

MAY brings us many good things — flowers and sunshine and spring, and even our own carpal-tunnel-based, self-focused series of chronological days… aka Masturbation Month. Now maybe you were under the impression that this is something to celebrate every month, seven days a week even, but hey – if there’s an opportunity to diddle around judgment-free¬†every day, let’s grab it by the balls.

Dr. Carol Queen, lead sexologist at sex-positive adult boutique Good Vibrations and co-founder of the Center for Sex and Culture up in San Francisco, hosted the 10th Annual Masturbate-A-Thon last week to pump everyone up for the coming month. (Both puns simultaneously intended.)

A typical MAY weekly breakdown:

* Make Me Moan Mondays

* Twat Tickling Tuesdays

* Wet Dream Wednesdays

* Thumb-F**king Thursdays

* Full-Frontal Fridays

* Sit on It Saturdays

* Someone Get Me Some Gatorade Sundays

Stay hydrated, people. There are a lot of fluids flowing and a cramp is a surefire way to ruin a good diddle session.